Considering divorce is a huge decision that carries heavy emotional, legal, and financial consequences. Whether you’re still on the fence or you’ve made up your mind, it’s important to talk to an experienced divorce attorney before you talk to your spouse. Once the conversation starts with your spouse, false assumptions could lead to lost leverage and bad deals.
Here’s why you need legal counsel before bringing it up.
Divorce is legally complex
Many people assume divorce is as simple as signing a form and splitting up, but the reality is far more complex. Here’s a small example of what you’ll need to manage:
- Asset division. Each state has its own rules about community property, separate property, and equitable division. A lawyer can tell you exactly how these apply to your situation. It’s not obvious unless you’re familiar with the law.
- Hidden liabilities. During your marriage, you’ve likely collected debts, obligations, retirement accounts, and other things. Without legal input from a lawyer, you might agree to a settlement that puts you on the hook for obligations you didn’t know about.
- Child custody and support. If kids are involved, your divorce is automatically more complicated. A lawyer will help you anticipate future issues that may arise and how to handle child support, whether you’re the one required to pay or the one receiving the support.
- Filings and procedures. Managing deadlines, required notices, and meeting residency rules are all examples of things that can harm you if done wrong. But unless you speak with a lawyer, you won’t even know most of these rules exist.
When you talk to a lawyer first, you’ll know what to expect and how to proceed. It can also give you more confidence in approaching your spouse about the situation. The more complex your situation is, the harder it will be to manage divisions and agreements on your own.
Your ability to negotiate changes the minute you speak
Once you initiate the discussion with your spouse, if you don’t know where you stand legally, you could end up in pointless arguments or making agreements that you shouldn’t have to make. Talking to a lawyer first will help you understand exactly what rights you have and how to protect them. A lawyer will also explain what you should never say to your spouse so you don’t hurt your position later on.
Ultimately, coming to the conversation with legal knowledge will give you the confidence you need to stay calm and not become reactive. You’ll also be given information on additional options like mediation, separation, and reconciliation. These alternative options can help you minimize conflict and high expenses if they’re right for you.
The financial stakes are high
Divorce is rarely simple in terms of finances, and it can totally reshape your financial future. The sooner you seek legal advice, the better. For example, anything you agree to right now can affect your retirement income for decades. If you own a business with your spouse or have complex investments, a lawyer will ensure it’s all valued and divided fairly.
What’s fair isn’t always obvious. For example, if your income is significantly higher than your spouse, it might be more equitable for them to take complete ownership of your shared business. If your incomes are comparable, it may be more equitable to sell the business and split the profits.
There’s also a good chance that property division, asset sales, and alimony will trigger tax implications. Knowing what to expect ahead of time will eliminate any surprises. Without legal advice, you might rush into filings and admissions you can’t undo. By consulting an attorney first, you stay in control of how and when you move forward with your divorce.
Consulting a lawyer early will pay off
Many couples going through a divorce hope for things to be smooth and amicable, but even amicable splits involve legal complexity. Talking to a lawyer will clarify your rights and responsibilities. It takes the guesswork out of everything and makes the process smooth for you and your spouse. You’ll have proper documentation, you won’t have to worry about missing deadlines or improperly filed paperwork, and you won’t risk your case by getting emotionally heated in front of the judge.
Facing the possibility of divorce is hard enough as it is. By speaking to an attorney before you talk to your spouse, you’ll have the tools and information you need to make the right choices and avoid blindly reacting. Whether you end up reconciling, separating, or fully divorcing, you’ll be in a stronger position with the support of a lawyer.