Almost everyone, entering into a relationship, does not expect that they will be at a distance. Forced separation can happen in the life of a loving couple, and then you need to try to make the most of the situation. Of course, being at a great distance is not easy. You will have to face a lot of problems that “regular” couples don’t even think about — for instance, when you will meet again or how often you can talk.
However, this does not mean that it is impossible to maintain a relationship at a distance — many couples cope well with forced separation. There are a few tricks that will help you keep in touch with your loved one despite the distance.
Call each other or send voice messages
It is so easy to misinterpret the text, and it sometimes takes quite a long to get an answer. Sometimes, you might think that your partner no longer wants to communicate with you while they are stuck in a business meeting. (This applies to any relationship, but the likelihood of misunderstandings is greater in long-distance ones.) Try sending each other voice messages or calling each other using the best app for international calling. Just hearing the voice of a loved one, even if they say only a couple of phrases, is very calming.
Set ground rules
This is necessary. It is crucial to set realistic and healthy expectations. The rules should be about how often you will call each other, the frequency of meetings, whether you can date other people, and if so, will you adhere to a non-disclosure policy (do not ask each other questions and do not tell anything about it). There are no right and wrong options, the problem arises only when these things are not discussed in advance.
Communicate only when you have something to say
You don’t need to communicate with your partner 24/7 just because you can’t see them. Think of it this way: if you lived together or just spent a lot of time together, you would have many silent moments. There are no such joint moments in long-distance relationships, but you want every minute spent together to be valuable to you. Besides, having to call or text several times a day can even irritate you and your partner. So, communicate only when you really want to. And then you will enjoy these moments much more.
Write down small details after the conversation
When you talk or text, remember some things your partner tells you, such as going to the doctor, meeting their boss, or visiting their parents. Record this information in your diary after the conversation. On the day of an important meeting, you can send a simple “Good luck today!” message and then ask how it went. Of course, you will definitely forget something (you are human!), but if you remember at least some events in your partner’s life, this will show them what you think of them — and this is essential.
Video chat for intimacy
Thanks to humanity for the invention of video chat! Of course, only those who do not experience discomfort from this can use the video for sex. But you both have natural needs that must somehow meet. Call your partner for a wild night, or get a couple’s sex toy that can be controlled from anywhere in the world. The video makes this moment even better because you can see each other, and it will make you feel more connected.
Schedule dates in advance
Your and your partner’s life is constantly flowing and changing, so it can sometimes be hard to plan communication ahead of time. Schedule at least a few meetings ahead of time so you don’t leave each other in the dark when you meet again. Date planning is crucial to give you both the certainty and understanding of what to expect.
Share a T-shirt or hoodie
When you live far apart, it is hard to share some physical things with your partner. Therefore, take a T-shirt or hoodie, which each of you will wear in turn, and send it back and forth. You can cuddle with a thing that smells of a loved one, and vice versa. (Just make sure this item is washed regularly). Another trick: in addition to each parcel, you can add small gifts or reminders of yourself.
Write on a piece of paper why you trust your partner and read it in moments of anxiety
When you don’t see each other for a long time, your mind starts coming up with scary things if you can’t drop in on your partner, or they don’t answer you. Feelings of insecurity can be heightened in long-distance relationships because you can’t just come to their house or work for half an hour to make sure everything is alright. So, when you feel that your relationship is completely secure, take the time to write down a note on your phone or notepad about why your partner is so wonderful and why they are trustworthy. And then read this every time you start to go crazy with worrying. Also, remember that your feelings are just your feelings and may not be true.
Talk about your relationship
Long-distance relationships are your overall choice, not an obligation. What a person thinks or feels in a given situation affects their satisfaction with it. It’s easy to get bogged down in feeling like you’re stuck in an uncomfortable situation, but try to focus on the pros and bring them out to your partner. For instance, tell them that this situation will not last forever, that you love them, and that being together — even if separated for the moment — is better than being without each other at all. Don’t ignore problems, but if possible, put them aside for later.
Get busy
You can sit at home and be angry at the injustice of fate, especially if you tried your best to avoid such a turn. But you can come out of your shell and just live your life. And this is essential in any relationship — to be close and, at the same time, separate. If you put all your energy into your partner, then, most likely, you will feel lonely and isolated.