Divorce can be a challenging process, but missteps along the way can make it even more complicated and stressful. If you’re filing for a divorce, you want to ensure you don’t fall victim to these costly mistakes.
Mistake 1: Rushing the Process
By the time most couples reach the stage of filing for divorce, the marriage has been falling apart for years. So it’s only natural that you want to speed things along and get this mess over with. However, don’t make the mistake of rushing through the process!
Every divorce has a variety of life-altering factors in play. (And, to be honest, your life might be the one that’s least impacted by this all. If you have children, they have much more to lose.)
So take your time and let the process unfold as it’s intended to play out.
Mistake 2: Trying to Do it Alone
Technically, you have the option to represent yourself in a divorce. However, it’s simply not worth the risk or trouble.
“Regardless of whether you have children, own real property, or intend to seek permanent alimony, it is not in your best interests to approach the divorce process unassisted, particularly if your spouse has the benefit of legal representation,” Bamieh De Smeth notes. “You will have a much better chance of obtaining your desired outcome if you are represented by an experienced divorce lawyer.”
An experienced divorce lawyer understands the process, knows how to protect your best interests, and can identify areas where you have leverage to help you obtain the most favorable outcome possible.
You can find attorneys using a variety of methods. The best option is to ask around for referrals from people you know and trust. If that doesn’t yield any good options, try online search tools to give you options in your area.
Mistake 3: Overlooking Financial Details
Divorce isn’t just the end of a relationship—it’s also the dissolution of a financial union. It involves the division of assets and liabilities, which could include real estate, retirement accounts, credit card debt, and more. It’s critical to have a thorough understanding of your shared and individual financial landscape. Overlooking or underestimating this aspect can lead to unfair settlements or financial instability post-divorce.
If you don’t account for all assets and liabilities, you might end up with less than you’re entitled to (or more than your fair share of debt). Examples include forgetting about small bank accounts, disregarding potential tax implications of asset division, or failing to consider future expenses such as college tuition for children. Also, neglecting to assess the value of non-liquid assets, such as art collections, antiques, or intellectual property, could potentially cost you a significant amount.
To avoid the mistake of overlooking assets or liabilities, you should do your best to document everything you can. This looks like creating a comprehensive list of all assets and debts, including bank accounts, properties, investments, insurance policies, loans, and credit card balances.
You may also want to hire a certified divorce financial analyst who can provide a thorough analysis of your financial situation and suggest the best ways to divide assets and liabilities.
Always keep in mind that full financial disclosure isn’t just essential for a fair settlement – it’s actually required by law. Any attempt you make to hide assets could lead to penalties and possibly have a negative impact on the outcome of your settlement.
Mistake 4: Neglecting Emotional Well-being
Divorce can be an emotional rollercoaster. You might experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, confusion, and relief, sometimes all within a short time. These emotions can cloud judgment and cause you to make impulsive decisions, which could have lasting repercussions on your post-divorce life.
Making decisions while under emotional distress can lead to poor choices that may negatively impact the divorce outcome. For example, you might be tempted to rush the process to get it over with, which might lead you to overlook important details. Alternatively, you may become entangled in disputes out of spite or anger, prolonging the process and potentially increasing legal fees.
In order to maintain balanced emotional health during a divorce, you should seek professional help and lean on your support network. Don’t underestimate self-care, either. Things like regular exercise, proper diet, and social media detox can do you good.
Make Sure You Have a Plan
At the end of the day, you need to go into your divorce with a plan. The first step in that plan is to hire a good divorce attorney. The second step is to make your wishes known to your attorney. And the third step is to listen to your attorney’s advice. There will be some give and take in your divorce settlement, but a solid plan will serve you well.